I was sitting on a curb, drinking my morning coffee about a hundred meters down the hill from my house when an electrically-charged, transparent orb appeared in the middle of the street. As it faded away, a naked man appeared who looked suspiciously like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I was shocked when I saw him punch the lights out of nearby Filipino, just to take his clothing from him. I'll bet you didn't know there were Filipinos as large as Arnold. Well, there are.

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