My last active duty day in the military was September 30th, 1998. That was the day I retired. Quickly approaching 10 years later, I still find myself reacting to various stimuli as if I was still in the military. I blame it on the constant repetitiveness of military customs, traditions and routines. Doing the same things, day in and day out for 20 years, can do that to a person regardless of whether it's military-related or not.

In the mornings, nearing 8 am, I catch myself looking at my watch. On military installations, flags are raised at 8 am. Getting caught outdoors at that time means standing at attention, facing the flag, and saluting (if in uniform). A person could get stuck in that position for several minutes, long enough for the right arm to start sagging from the weight. On some military installations, they play the national anthem, followed by the Marine Corps and Navy hymns. I used to make sure I was indoors at 8 am. I still seem to make sure I'm indoors at 8 am.

There were so many things that I endured that were tied to specific hours of the day. I'm always catching myself looking at my watch around those hours. I wonder how many more years it'll take for me to break myself of that habit? Or just getting rid of those mental cues? I'm not saying that EVERYTHING I've learned and that every habit I obtained from service in the military is bad. There are some things that I've gained that the average Joe Citizen will never understand or appreciate.

I joined the military under the delayed entry program (DEP) for the US Marine Corps (USMC) on January 17th, 1978. I didn't actually start basic training, my first active duty day, until September 26th of the same year. Because I joined before our beloved Congress changed the rules around the beginning of fiscal year 1985, that DEP period counts as reserve service for me.

I didn't really retire in 1998. It's that horse of a different color you've heard so much about. I was released from active duty and I'm drawing a military pension, but I'm still in the Fleet Marine Corps Reserve (FMCR) and will remain there until I've completed 30 years of obligated service (active and reserve). My final discharge date will be either January 16th, 2008 or September 25th, 2008. I have no idea which one it will be. I'll scan and display the certificate on my blog when I receive it. Knowing the Philippines mail, I'll probably receive it three months after it's sent to me.

Other bloggers with military service:

DragonLady's World – An all-American southern geek's view of the world.

Ramblings from the Marginalized – It’s all in the luck of the dice.

Internet Marketing with Josh Spaulding – Making money through ethical marketing.

OpTempo – A Fast Paced Internet Magazine

Are We There Yet – (A former US Air Force member)

Sarge Charlie – A place of learning of useful and useless information that is the sum total of my (his) life experience.

If you were ever in the US military, or still are, send me a message. I'd love to link to your website on this page, if you have one. For those of you that I haven't linked to yet, I have CRS disease (can't remember shiitake) and I'll get to it as soon as I can remember to do so.

I haven't yet continued with my autobiographical posts, the last being my Autobiography, Part 2 back in April. The next installment will cover a period which starts in February 1974 and ends in November 1977. It was a troubling time for me, most of it being my high school years.

As I mentioned in my article, The Power of Positive Thinking, "Sometimes I purposely write about negative thoughts, memories, emotions and experiences so that I can bring them out into the light and examine them closely. By doing so, I can apply age and wisdom to those items and store them back as more positive items."

I haven't been writing about the negative things from most of my high school years, but I have been bringing the memories to the surface to examine them. One of the things I realized right away is that some of the anger and hatred I felt back then was still present. These are things that happened more than 30 years ago! The negative memories are now replaced by neutral memories, not positive but not negative either. Most of the teenagers that gave me grief back then are in my age group. The ones that didn't change could be in jail or even dead by now. The ones that did change may be regretting the things they did back then. Either way, it shouldn't matter to me anymore and it doesn't.

The negativity that I dug up from my memories has been replaced by neutrality. It's not positive, but it doesn't leave the damaging footprint that negativity does. I am now prepared to write about my life during that period and should have the next installment completed in a few short days.

When we're young, we are constantly told the magic words of "no", "don't" and "you can't". While these words can protect us from bad things happening to us, it starts a string of negative thoughts that can continue through childhood, adolescence and even into adulthood. Parents should decrease the amount of negative words and phrases as children grow older and replace them with words of encouragement as the need for protection decreases. I have observed that this is rarely the case.

It's difficult to break the cycle of negativity in anyone's life, including our own, because we have become conditioned to expect it. We are programmed, in a sense, to expect and think negative thoughts and have negative emotions. This conditioning, as it is stored in our brains, is similar to how we store and retrieve memories.

Have you ever been to a cafeteria or an "all you can eat" type of buffet restaurant? Do you remember how the plates are stacked in a cylinder with the freshest, cleanest plates being on top and the ones that have been out longer are pushed down toward the bottom of the cylinder? You can't get to the plates at the bottom and most people don't want to get to them. You pull the one off the top because it's the easiest to get to. Our memories and thought processes work the same way with the freshest thoughts and memories being the easiest to gain access to. Only after sifting through the freshest can we get to the ones that are not so fresh.

It's also a matter of balance. Imagine a bowl full of negative thoughts and memories. Now imagine a bowl halfway full of positive thoughts and memories. Hold the negative in your left hand and hold the positive in your right hand. If you're making a choice based on amount and weight, not knowing which one is which, which one would you draw from?

We need to practice thinking positive thoughts and spend time specifically recalling positive memories. We need to stack the new plates on top of the old ones to push the negativity further down the cylinder. We need to fill the positivity bowl to make it fuller and heavier than the negative one. Only then can we pull out the freshest, positive thoughts and memories which are nearest to the top and have the most weight in our lives.

Over the past few years, I have been practicing exactly those things. I believe it has enabled me to write about things that I consider positive and hesitate to write about things that are negative. I sleep better and sounder these days than I did ten years ago. I've learned to turn negative emotions into positive opportunities. Sometimes, I purposely write about negative thoughts, memories, emotions and experiences so that I can bring them out into the light and examine them closely. By doing so, I can apply age and wisdom to those items and store them back as more positive items.

This is the real power of positive thinking. It enables us to remove or replace the negative with the positive which further enables us to do things (and write things) that benefit us and not the other way around.

Perhaps, because I'm not an expert in the psychoanalytical field, I'm completely wrong in my analysis. What do you think? Is there a better way to explain it? Do you have a better analogy that's more precise? I'm all ears (or in this case, all eyes).

Memories. They wash over me and flood me with images from my past.

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