Before you write me off as a complete lunatic, you need to understand that there are certain people, in several countries, who think I have more superpowers than the fictional "Superman". Some seem to think I never sleep and grill me when I don't answer voice calls on Skype. Others seem to think that I have extra sensory perception (ESP) and can know the details of their lives without being told anything. There are still others who believe that I never get sick. When I tell someone I'm going to do something on a particular day, I better damn well get it done. Well, since I recently failed at doing anything that certain people expected me to do and I don't know exactly why, I can only assume that someone planted a sliver or two of green kryptonite somewhere near the places I hang out.
I had all the Symptoms of Green Kryptonite Poisoning
Green kryptonite is the most common form of kryptonite. It was created by the "radioactive chain reaction" which destroyed Krypton and was scattered throughout space, some of it arriving on Earth. In surviving Kryptonians, it causes immediate physical pain, weakness and reduces their powers. It can kill them if they are not removed from exposure within hours.
Of course, what I just wrote was pure fiction. Even so, how else can I explain what happened to me starting on April 1st and ending on April 3rd? On April 1st, I started getting weaker by the hour, which started shortly after waking up. I ended up going to bed three to four hours before I normally would and I was exhausted.
The next morning, I awoke to a full-fledged fever and a running nose. I was still incredibly weak. After mega doses of over-the-counter fever reducing medicines and an entire roll of toilet paper rubbed against my nose in an absorbing manner, I was able to partially function for a few hours. Again, I slept earlier than usual.
On the morning of the 3rd, the very next day, all of the symptoms except a mild weakness were gone. By the end of the day, my full powers had returned. I can only assume that the green kryptonite was moved far enough away to not affect me anymore or that it has lost its radioactivity.
The Reality
I was just discussing this with my younger son yesterday. The last time I went to see a doctor for an illness was in 1997. Coincidentally, the last time I had "the flu" (as opposed to a cold), was after getting a flu shot in 1997. I tried to think of a later period of illness requiring medical assistance that over-the-counter drugs couldn't provide and I came up empty.
The last time I actually saw a doctor for anything at all was in 2001, when I had adhesive encapsulitis in my left shoulder. After concentrating on the issue, I was surprised to figure out that I've had no serious illnesses since 1997 and it's now 2011. That's a long freaking time.
So… the explanation of green kryptonite is as good as any other. It was either that or a big, wet kiss from a 1-year old niece.
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This article is published as: I Finally Recovered from Green Kryptonite Poisoning
I'm glad your ok, kryptonite poisoning is extremely dangerous ;)
petre recently posted..Apara Satul
I hope you looked better than the guy in the picture :-)
Tim G. recently posted..A Little Old Tim
Haha! I'm an American living in Peru, and I know what you mean about people thinking you never sleep and should be available for Skype 24/7 – My mom actually called the US Embassy here because she couldn't reach me by phone for 2 days! Thanks for a fun post. :)
Kelly recently posted..Harry Potter Wands For Sale updated Mon Mar 28 2011 9-31 am CDT
The niece did it. I never go to doctors as well. Last time I was in a doctor/hospital was when I was 12, after I crashed my bike and had to get stitches. Other than that, nothing. I'm 32 :)
Nice superman, kryptonite really makes you sick. I am glad that you are ok.
jaymar recently posted..Comment on Traffic Lock Down – Secure your Traffic Now by Traffic Lock Down – Secure your Traffic Now Easy Free Ads
Hi! I'm glad you are feeling well right now. Guess the green kryptonite poisoning is over…hehehe. I was amazed with your body resistance against illnesses! Boy, it's really been a long time since you last went to a doctor for a check up! Are you a vegetarian? It's nice to know that a foreigner like you preferred to stay in our country. Hope you are doing well in our country. God Bless You!
Anne @ double curtain rods recently posted..Double Curtain Rods
No, I'm not a vegetarian, but I never eat pork (well, unless you count SPAM and bacon on occasion, but only the lean stuff). No other pork products at all, not even weiners.
I hope you're feeling better now.
I have a policy of only getting seriously sick or injured every 25 years. Since I had my age 50 health crisis last year, I'll have until I'm 75. It's the 100 one that really worries me though.
I noticed you're using the "confirm you are not a spammer" plugin. It's great. I'm in the process of deploying it to all my blogs since it does away with virtually all auto-spam.
Frank C recently posted..Emery Cat Scratching Board Review
Hi Frank, long time no see.
Hey Rt thanks for brigtening up my day I was feeling a bit under the weather myself but I put it down to my hypochondriac brother who has always got some obscure disease but it's usually just a bit of a cold. Looks as though he's passed his germs on to me.
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