If certain words concerning the female anatomy bother you, please leave now. You have been warned.

While I was looking through my stats, I came across "jingle jugs" as a search term. Since I'd never written either words on this blog (and I checked to be sure), the search engines must think the words "jugs" and "boobs" are synonymous. Yes, I've used "boobs" once or twice.

Read the rest of this entry »

I don't know who or what kind of person the female in this video is. All I know is that she walked in front of the camera, purposely avoiding any exposure of her head, and then commenced with a striptease to show off her thong and butt (and other assets). Enjoy!

Read the rest of this entry »

Johnny Depp is back as another Englishman (he was Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy), but this time he's even crazier. He's the legendary Sweeney Todd, an alias for his real name of Benjamin Barker, and he's the "Demon Barber of Fleet Street". Take a few minutes to visit the official Sweeney Todd movie site and you'll see what I'm talking about. The movie opens just in time for Christmas.

In this story, Benjamin Barker is living the simple life of a barber with his wife and daughter when a lusting judge destroys their lives. Benjamin gets deported to Australia and returns many years later to England with revenge on his mind. His intent is to reclaim his family and punish the society which took part in the destruction of it. He doesn't want to forget OR forgive. It's a bloody journey from beginning to end.

They say that confession's good for the soul. If you'd like to confess your desires for vengeance, then visit Sweeney Todd on Buzznet. You can call in your confession or upload a video confession; either way it's sure to be a lot of fun. If you don't want to do that, just confess to me in the comments. I'm not a demon barber, but I'll read it. I've never personally exacted revenge on anyone that I can remember. That doesn't mean I'm not guilty of it and if I remember anything, I'll be sure to add it the comments.

If you visit Sweeney Todd on MySpace, you can enter for the chance to meet Johnny Depp at the global premiere of the movie. What are you waiting for?

No, I'm not going to list the programs. Rather, I'm going to tell you what I'm looking forward to on broadcast and cable television. My source is tvguide.com, but there are a lot of other places you can find the same information.

I'm not into crime dramas and of course, all the CSI whatevers are returning this season. Boston Legal, regardless of the fact that William Shatner ("The Shat") is in it, I'm not the least bit interested in watching it. Of the returning shows, and I'm not sure what channels carry them (i.e., I'm too lazy to look), these are the ones I'm looking forward to, in no particular order:

• Heroes – September 24
• Eureka (SciFi) – September 25
• Smallville (CW) – September 27
• Stargate Atlantis (SciFi) – September 28
• Dexter – September 30
• Battlestar Galactica – I don't know

I lament the loss of Stargate SG-1. There are some new shows that look promising. I've already scene the new show on SciFi called "Flash Gordon" (only the first episode) and it looks promising. Here are some new shows coming up that may be interesting:

• Chuck – September 24
• Journeyman – September 24
• Reaper – September 25
• Bionic Woman – September 26
• Moonlight – September 28
• Cavemen – October 2
• Viva Laughlin – October 18

I don't want to get into any plot lines, but Bionic Woman is a re-imagining of the campy 70s version and I think it's from the same people who re-imagined Battlestar Galactica. Cavemen is based on the GEICO commercial that had cavemen in it.

There are some shows I have never seen and may never see because I either don't know about them or I don't care about them. Since the episodes have to be sent to me by my friend in Phoenix, I'm in a constant state of waiting anyway.

Eye of the Dolphin is a family movie starring Carly Schroeder, who starred in this summer's soccer hit "Gracie", and opens August 24th in selected theaters.

This is the story of 15 year old girl (Schroeder) forced to live with her father after being expelled from high school in Los Angeles, California. A personality conflict between her and her father, a dolphin research scientist, causes her to form an unexpected friendship with an orphaned dolphin.

Filmed in the Bahamas, you can be assured the scenery in this film is going to be breathtaking. Written by three time Emmy winner Wendell Morris from a story by the film's director Michael Sellers, this promises to be a movie the whole family can enjoy.

Here's the trailer I just watched:

One of my passions is snow skiing (second only to skydiving), my wife loves water skiing. So you have probably surmised, our summers are filled with weekend trips to the lake and bikini’s while the winter months are spent on snow topped mountains with ski caps and gloves.

For several weeks we have been planning a two day ski trip at one of Arizona’s largest man made lakes, Roosevelt Lake.

My wife is an excellent communicator. Despite our 12 year hiatus away from Arizona she has managed to stay connected with dozens of people we went to high school with. This ski trip would be special in that 6 of our high school chums, with families in tow, had agreed to brave the record breaking, Arizona heat and join us on this outing.

Our excitement grew as we assembled the ski and camping gear we would need to keep ourselves hydrated and comfortable. The day before the big trip our phone began to ring, and it didn’t stop ringing. Our six family trip had dwindled to four as something came up that would prevent two of our six from attending the adventure. It really is hot here and I suspect that news of more record breaking temperatures made hibernating in an air conditioned house more appealing than sweltering in heat. Phoenix has had 27 consecutive days with high temperatures over 110 degrees. Forecasters predict we will break the 28 day record set September 17, 2000.

High temps and fewer people than expected didn’t dampen the trip. The campout went just about as expected. We had dry weather, plenty of food and beverage and one of the kids even caught a fish. Another ski trip is planned in two weeks. I’m already anxious.

Our bodies are amazing instruments. Not only do our bodies provide a fairly efficient means for moving our brain and spirit from one location to another they have an unequaled ability to process billions of biologic and electronic signals and processes with little to no cognitive direction. BUT occasionally these automatic functions are responsible for some uncontrollable and sometimes inappropriate thoughts and actions. For example, you might remember RT's recent posts on public flatulence.

My Saturday started at 4:00 am. This is when my clock radio switched from sleep mode to music alarm mode.

It was Dennis DeYoung and STYX singing "Come Sail Away".

"A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said
They said come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me

I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me"

I love moments like this, when you and the world seem to be in perfect sync.

I rolled out of bed rubbed my eyes before sitting down at my computer to quickly check my e-mail and the status of my torrent download of last weeks "Dead Zone" episode. Did any of you know that they were still making new episodes of this show?

Fast forward:

• Make and sip my coffee.
• Print off my 'A' boarding pass for my Monday AM flight (Southwest Airline issues boarding passes, labeled A, B, and C, instead of assigning seats. The boarding passes are issued on a first-come-first-served basis. The 'A' passes are issued first and the 'A' people get the choice seats and are almost guaranteed a spot in the overhead bin for carry-on bags. I had a carry-on.
• Remotely connect to the network at work to set my away message in exchange.
• Change the oil in the boat (I'd purchased oil for the boat and replacement light bulbs for those that are burned out in both my cars. Total was $115.43, Someone's making money here.)
• Replace the headlights and one fog light on the 'Stang.
• Pull the 'Stang out of the garage and pull the Tahoe into the shade. (It was only 7:30 AM and it was already 96 degrees outside.) Summers in the Southwestern Desert are better suited to insects and rodents that can either hide in the shade under a rock or burrow into the cool moist soil than it is for humans. We humans hibernate like bears in our air conditioned homes during the summer.
• Replace one fog light and one tail light in the Tahoe.
• Shower and shave
• Hook the boat up to the Tahoe and load up the family
• Stop for gas ($86.00), ice ($6.25), and beer ($3.59). I wish my car and boat could run on beer.
• Drive to Roosevelt Lake (Lake pleasant is about 60 miles closer to where I like but is anything but pleasant on the weekends. We've skied there a couple times and seem to spend too much time worrying about if the downed skier can avoid getting hit by other boats while waiting for us to swing around to get them. I've actually had to put our boat "Margarita", a Reinell, 19.7 foot, 5.7 liter, 127 horsepower weekend toy into the path of a speed boat that was headed directly for my son who was bobbing up and down in the water, waiting to be picked up after a rather exhausting wakeboard ride. The speed boar turned away probably never seeing my son in the water. Luckily we didn't end up a "Margarita on the rocks".
• Drive . . . Drive . . . . . Drive

Finally it was time for us to "Sail Away". We were launched and on our way at about 10:30.

After a couple successful ski and tube rides I was at the helm of Margarita when it happened. My son, apparently affected by the heat as well, decided to take a dip in the lake to cool off. As he lifted himself over the edge of the boat, aiming for the refreshingly cool water caught his leg in the hand rung on the side of the boat. He was hanging there, upside down, his leg caught in the rung above him, his arms and hands frantically reaching for something to hold and his head completely submerged in the water. I suddenly became aware that my mind (influenced by the accumulated effects of habits, hormones, lack of sleep and the debilitating heat) had slipped, unnoticed, from my control. I responded to the peril my son suddenly found himself in by breaking out in uncontrollable laughter. My sudden awareness of the fact that I was no longer in charge of my own mind and body tickled me, causing even more laughter (giggling actually). My wife looked at me in horror; clearly she hoped I would do something to rectify the situation to prevent my son from breathing water. Thousands of years of evolution on land have nearly all but eliminated the ability of our bodies to absorb oxygen from water. Splash, splash went his arms.

"Scott, do something!" was the cry from my wife. The tone in her voice was frantic, filled with terror and urgency. My mind began processing the information with lightening speed. You know how, when you receive a phone call, within the first few syllables you can tell if something is wrong and that the caller has something very serious to communicate? I turn my automatic systems off and regained control of my mind and body, quickly releasing my son's foot, which allowed him to turn himself upright and once again efficiently absorb oxygen from the air. The situation was serious and potentially lethal but my automatic systems responded as if it was some type of joke. Was my response to the situation inappropriate or somehow part of human survival instincts? My response came from deep within my subconscious, programmed through thousands of years of environmental and evolutionary influence. Was my primordial response some type of survival response to external stimuli? Why do we like to watch Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote cartoons? Do our subconscious survival instincts somehow relate to the dire situations Wile E. Coyote finds himself in?

Perhaps the creator of all things does have a sense of humor, look at the giraffe.