RSS Feeds: Our Upcoming Wedding Anniversary and Renewal of Wedding Vows
I don't know how other married couples feel, but I'm filled with a sense of dread when it comes to me and my wife's upcoming 25th wedding anniversary and renewal of our wedding vows. She wants a Catholic church wedding and I would rather skip it.
The Wedding Ceremony and Ceremonies in General
When I and my wife married in 1985, we were married by a Justice of the Peace. I was in the military and not only did I not have the money to afford the kind of wedding my wife wanted, I didn't want one. I'm a clumsy person and I'll be the first to admit it. It's one of the reasons I never learned to dance. I have two left of everything, including my feet.
After 20 years of military life, which included countless ceremonies I had to take part in (both on-duty and off), I wince at the thought of taking part in yet another ceremony. The only reason I'm even considering going through with a more lavish wedding ceremony is because I love my wife and I want to make her happy. She has been patiently waiting for the day when she can have a wedding to be remembered.
We originally planned to have the wedding in our home, but that seems less realistic as time progresses. I don't know what it is about having a church wedding that a lot of women prefer, but I would prefer not. Unfortunately, this isn't a one-way decision.
Wedding Dresses and Related Things
This is probably the least of our worries. I don't know, at this point, whether my wife wants to wear a traditional white wedding dress or something more traditional in regards to the Philippines. I know that I'll be wearing a barong Tagalog.
A lot of people mistakenly believe white wedding dresses are used to signify the purity of virgins. In reality, they're the result of a fad that took root in the early 19th century. Many cultures ignored the fad and the women can be seen wearing a variety of colors, based on their own traditions. The female barong is used for weddings in the Philippines along with the semi-standard white wedding dress.
Wedding Reception
Initially, my wife wanted a huge reception with a ton of relatives being invited. We're talking about a hundred people or more. Recently, she's had a kind of falling out with her relatives – other than her mother, siblings and their children. By excluding the "outsiders", the number of people in attendance would be under 30.
One of my sisters-in-law has researched the cost for me and the cost, because it's in the Philippines and not in the US, is quite affordable considering the catering and food involved. I can almost fit it into my monthly budget… almost.
Wedding Rings
I and jewelry of any kind have issues. I don't like wearing it. A wedding ring is an exception, but I no longer have one. I won't go into a lot of detail about it, but I took it off one day after my ring finger started getting fat and the ring started bothering me. I have not seen it since.
Frankly, I don't know what I'm going to do about it before our wedding in January. I refuse to spend a lot of money on one or more rings (in case my wife wants my ring to match hers). My wife still has her original engagement and wedding rings and I do not. Something will have to be done about it and I really don't want to think about it right now.
Wedding Gifts or Anniversary Gifts
I'm not a gift kind of person. Whether I receive any kind of wedding gift or anniversary gift is unimportant to me. I don't mind giving, I just don't care for the receiving part. My wife has made it a point that we exchange gifts for the previous wedding anniversaries – all 24 of them.
At least my wife has made it clear to me that the only thing she wants from me is the renewal of our vows in a Catholic church. Of course, this presents another problem. I'm not Catholic and having a Catholic wedding may require more from me than I'm willing to give.
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Good husband. Very care about your wife's feeling. In my oppinions, just tell her you love her but you do not agree with some of the planning. I think she will understand you and things will get simpler.
I loved the video on youtube by John. Thanks a lot!
Best wishes, Bud!
I'm sure your 25th wedding anniversary or renewal of vows will be meaningful and memorable.
Hey, you can already give yourself a pat on the back for staying together for more than two decades! Quite an accomplishment nowadays…
Once again, best wishes
Sounds like you've got a bit of a headache on your hands. I understand why your wife wants to make a fuss over this aniversary but I can see why another ceremony for you might not be that appealing. Might be an idea to sit down with you wife and decide between you how important these things are to both of you, then on the things which are less important you might be able to find a comprise on.
Good luck to you both, I hope it works out ok, we at 5 Star Weddings wish you the best.
I think is really nice of you to go through with this process and make your wife happy. I really appreciate it when my husband does something really special for our wedding anniversary. It is memorable and can only strengthen your love for each other. I would say to go for it…who knows, you may actually be really happy with the results.