Before I went to sleep last night, I spotted this huge brown huntsman spider scurrying across a wall in my master bedroom, heading for the bathroom. The spider was bigger than my right hand, at least six inches across.

A Large and Extremely Fast Spider

Did I say "spotted it"? I couldn't help but notice it. It was gigantic! Did I say "scurrying"? Racing would be a better description. It took the spider less than two seconds to go from the wall opposite from the bathroom to the bathroom.

I went into the bathroom, made sure the bathroom window was open and attempted to chase the spider to the great outdoors of the Philippines. The spider was having none of that. Since all of my attempts at spider removal were fruitless, I did the next best thing. I killed it. I had a big roll of duct tape sitting on the bathroom vanity and I hurled it at the spider, not really thinking that I would hit it. I hit it on the first try. It was now a smashed, dead spider.

Too Many Horror Movies

During my short ordeal, I only thought about one thing. I didn't want that spider crawling on me while I was sleeping. You probably think I could just close the bathroom door and trap it inside. Nope. My bathroom door has a slatted window at the bottom for ventilation.

Of course, my son made fun of me after he heard the ruckus. He asked me if I was afraid the "Alien" would squat on my face and shoot an egg down my throat or something. If looks could kill…

I can deal with almost anything coming into my house and making itself at home. Ants and geckos don't bother me at all. Roaches, the very few that ever come in, disgust me to no end and must be exterminated. The small spiders don't bother me. It's the large ones I want to escort out of the house.

The Spider Funeral

When you kill a bug (whether it's an insect or a spider), ten or more of his friends show up for the funeral. When I woke up this morning and attempted to remove the spider carcass, a million tiny ants were swarming all over its body and not much remained. A quick shot of "Baygon" (the Filipino version of "Raid") took care of them and I was able to discard the remnants of everything there.

I feel bad about killing the spider, but I reacted without thinking. The momentary vision of a spider crawling on my face while I was sleeping was enough to set me off. It's too bad. The spider was big enough to take out the biggest roaches I've ever seen.

• I Got Them Varmint Ants But Good
• How do YOU get rid of roaches?
• Ants – This Time It's Personal!
• The Care and Cleaning of Plastic Window Blinds
• I Foiled A Burglar This Morning