Terminator: The UV Chronicles

Arnold Schwarzenegger I was sitting on a curb, drinking my morning coffee about a hundred meters down the hill from my house when an electrically-charged, transparent orb appeared in the middle of the street. As it faded away, a naked man appeared who looked suspiciously like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I was shocked when I saw him punch the lights out of nearby Filipino, just to take his clothing from him. I'll bet you didn't know there were Filipinos as large as Arnold. Well, there are.


Wishing to avoid trouble, I stood and started walking up the hill toward my home. The person who looked like Arnold yelled out for me to stop. I stopped. He looked at me and asked me if my name was "RT". I said it was. Wow! He sure sounded like Arnold. He then said, "I am from the future. I have been sent here to give you a warning." Remembering all of the Terminator movies as well as the TV series, I replied, "I think you're in the wrong place and looking for the wrong person. I mean, you're a Terminator, right?" He replied, "No, I am a Bloginator. I am a cybernetic blogger hand-picked for this mission." Terminator, Governator and now Bloginator? What the heck? I need to get out more.

"I'm curious. What exactly does the future look like?"
"I am from 2012 and it looks almost exactly like 2008. The global economy doesn't get any better and more people than ever are out of work."

"Okay, so what's the warning?"
"You must upgrade your WordPress software to version 2.5.1 immediately. You must upgrade or die!"
"But I already did!"
"Really?"
"Yes."

"Damn it! Someone is playing Google tricks at the Bloginator facility again. Our alternate timeline search results showed you failed to upgrade your software, remained a nobody, and then died of boredom. I was sent back to ensure you completed the upgrade so that you could continue on your path as a successful and outstanding blogger and change the course of events in 2011, altering our own timeline for the good of all mankind. I must return to 2012 and find out what really went wrong."

Timelines confuse me. Quite frankly, I was just glad I wasn't going to die soon. As a new, transparent orb started to appear around the Bloginator, he asked, "Why do we blog?" "For many reasons" was my answer. Just before he disappeared, he told me he was designed to develop market insight but would like to be programmed for more. After he was gone, a pile of clothing was all that remained on the street.

I don't know quite what to make of that encounter, but at least the Filipino dude got his clothing back.

* * * * * * *

This is first time I've linked out to other blogs using a short, fictional story. Only a few of the outbound links came from my ongoing simple and fun Twitter contest. Okay, I know it's lame, but I hope you enjoyed it enough to consider participating in the contest so that the next one will be better.

The "UV" in the post title is short for Untwisted Vortex, just in case you didn't figure that part out.

Similar Posts:

12 Comments

  1. Inspirit | Abhinav from Upgrade to WordPress 2.5.1 or Die says:

    @Simple & Fun Twitter Contest:
    This is cool stuff :cool: Making this story up was simple :?: :!:

    Thanks for the link, RT.

    Inspirit | Abhinav’s last blog post… Does the Google Page Rank Really Mean Anything, Anymore?

  2. Stevo says:

    Great story, RT. I never knew you were so creative. :mrgreen:

    I really dugg this.

    Stevo’s last blog post… Nikes and Not Nikes

  3. [...] the "fun" part of the contest with this very first (prize) post that he wrote today: Terminator: The UV Chronicles! I don't know if RT had fun crafting this piece of fiction, straining his mind in the worst [...]

  4. You guys have no idea how hard it was to write that. I don't have a creative bone in my body. It took me a week!

  5. Comedy Plus says:

    I would just like to know what all you had in your coffee. Sounds like you put an adult beverage in there too. Delightful post RT. Have a great day. :)

    Comedy Plus’s last blog post… Are We There Yet? and Wading Through my Stream of Consciousness…

  6. Very informative story, thanks for sharing! :)

  7. Tammie Salke says:

    This short story is soooo like you :!:
    But you wouldn't be Ricky if it was't. Sorrrry RT! Just kidding. Cute story. Miss you!

  8. Ernie says:

    Perhaps a different bloginator (an attractive young female one) had gone back to an earlier time and already advised you to upgrade. If you have her number, pass it along to me please.

    Ernie’s last blog post… A Brand New Champion

  9. Justin from Electric Airsoft Guns says:

    That was a pretty funny story, a technological chronicle with an extra hint of… more technology (blogging).

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv Enabled

This site uses KeywordLuv. Enter YourName@YourKeywords in the Name field to take advantage.

Anti-Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree