Why Can't We All Just Get Along?
After reading Monika's article, "How Do YOU Deal With Blogger Agro?", I felt the need to air my own feelings along these lines.
Borders, Language and Culture
These are the things that define a nation. On the Internet, however, there are no borders and language and culture are perceived instead of known. The Internet is truly a global phenomenon. The English language is the most dominant language used on the Internet, and many people make assumptions about a person's native language based on their usage of it.
Bigotry, Racism and Prejudice
These are the things that everyone has been fighting against as early as the 1960s (in the USA). These feelings and practices take place mostly due to ignorance and hate. Educating yourself about another individual's race, ethnic group, language and culture will help to eliminate the negative aspects of communication and interaction.
The Defense Mechanism
Survival is one of mankind's basic instincts. When a person is attacked physically, mentally or verbally, the first reaction is self-defense, a matter of survival. Why is it then that people seem to attack more ferociously when they see that someone is on the defense instead of the offense? Is it like the smell of blood?
Personal Experience
One of the reasons I've made a conscious decision not to get involved in discussions at social websites is due to how quickly a simple discussion can escalate into arguments, name-calling, and personal attacks. I have fallen victim to attacks in the past and it isn't a pleasant experience. I've witnessed attacks on other people, commonly called "flaming". It isn't pretty at all.
The problem, as I see it, is that a lot of people impose their own standards of communication and interaction on others, regardless of the standards of those they impose it on. How presumptuous it is to believe that everyone else should read, write and speak exactly as you do. Even more presumptuous is your belief that others will change to raise or lower themselves to your standards.
After living and working among people of many different countries, I have eliminated most my own feelings in regards to bigotry, racism and prejudice. Some of the wisdom came with age, but most of it has come from experience. Discrimination comes in many flavors and I'm not a perfect person, so I'm sure there are some embedded emotions that I haven't discovered yet.
There comes a time, after constant exposure to "flaming", when people decide to close themselves off from other people. Negative feelings aren't healthy and it's a matter of survival when someone chooses to shut out the rest of the world. While I choose not to close myself off, I still feel a lot of pain when I'm exposed, either as a recipient or as a witness.
Why can't we all just get along?
(Image Source: Close to Utopia. Credit: Hands Holding Hands by Varina Chapman)
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I hear you. I don't like those places that are mean or put you down. I just won't go back. I just want to have fun and I really enjoy talking with people all over the world. So, I guess not being able to see anyone makes it even easier to be mean for some folks. I've wondered about this.
Well done post R.T. I hope it makes some folks sit up and take notice. Have a great day.
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I hope so too.
Racial abuse is pretty hard to take, even on an online forum.
It leads to the worst kind of anger.
hari's last blog post..Charlie Chaplin
There's beauty and love in every race, if people would just discard the baggage they carry around with them.
RT, I sometimes feel there is a huge gap between the "white man" and the "coloured man" in thinking and philosophy that cannot be bridged. This is not specifically targetted at anybody, but a very broad observation.
You've lived among a lot of people of different types and you should be able to understand this topic better.
Of course, I am talking in a very general sense and being very honest about it because the people who indulge in racial abuse are the ones who are over-sensitive about it when they are targetted for similar treatment and they actually feel they haven't done anything wrong.
What annoys me is the sense of self-righteousness that white people tend to carry around and considering all the colonial and imperialistic history of these nations, it's pretty rich. Whatever I read in the media about countries like Australia, Britain, some European nations and the US (after 11/9), it seems that the Western nations has a huge superiority complex and a fear and dislike of coloured people, especially Asians.
hari's last blog post..Charlie Chaplin
You're half-right, Hari. Reverse racism started to rear its ugly head shortly after some of the major successes of the civil rights movement. There's a definite disconnect that shouldn't exist and frankly, I don't know if there's anything any of us can do about it except talk about it.
This is a part that I definitely think is the biggest problem with online communication. People are just too lazy to communicate with the empathy necessary to create a rapport which would be established in a real world face-to-face conversation.
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Rt I couldn't agree more, I mentioned something very similar in my recent post, meet people where they are not where you expect them to be. Todd Rundgren said, can we still be friends , for lots of people they say no.
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I'll be over to read it after I have my late breakfast.
Well said RT. I have nothing to add as nothing needs to be added. Eloquent and to the point.
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I always try to get straight to the point without mincing words. I'm not always effective, at least in my own mind.
Hi R.T.
I'm somewhat glad to have you inspired in writing this article since the more people appreciate the fact that we ARE all different and try to get along within their means the better.
Like you I've worked in several different nations. Having always had an understanding of a need to adapt to the other culture since I was the one visiting I learned to respect others for what they are.
Respect is the missing flavor in many interpersonal relationships and the sooner we put respect back into human kind, the better for all involved.
Monika
Freelance Writing's last blog post..How Do YOU Deal With Blogger Agro?
Respect! That was the word I was looking for when writing this. Thank you for the inspiration, Monika.
This is a really important post. Thanks for reminding all of us to put ourselves in the other guy's (or gal's) shoes and maybe shut our trap (this means me as well as anyone else since on occasion I get argumentative verbal diarrea ). I know I am really tempted sometimes to get in on these kerfuffles and nothing good ever comes out of them. Everybody leaves angry or with some sort of negative out of it. It is pretty easy online to forget that there are real people on the other end.
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The post isn't as important as the message I tried to convey. If more people think before acting (writing, speaking, etc.), I've accomplished my goal.
Thanks for the link to Monika's post on the topic, as I hadn't yet seen it.
This sort of behavior, personal attacks etc are pathetic in my opinion, and greatly reduces the level of respect held for such individuals.
I've come across so many posts of late where bloggers are verbally abusing each other, flaming each other, and I just can't get off their blog fast enough. Nor will I go back.
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Lin, I'll go back when I know it isn't the normal thing that happens there. With as many blogs as I read daily, it's usually impossible to hit the same blog twice in a day, sometimes in a week or more.
Hi RT,
Before I got into blogging, I used to participate in online forums. lol, talk about drama.
While there's no doubt that some people use the anonymity of the Internet to be unnecessarily cruel or mean. But, I also could help but get the feeling that some people take their online "life" way more seriously than is healthy.
I don't mean to belittle anybody else, but personally I couldn't care less if someone who I've never met in "real" life want to waste their time calling me names on the Internet.
This attitude makes it really easy to "Get Along"
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Nasty comments used to bother me until one day I realized that the person on the other end doesn't know me and I don't know them.
I have several examples of trolls on the blog here who didn't get the better of me but not for their lack of trying.
This is an *EXCELLENT* post! As someone who is totally infatuated with culture and race, I can still kinda see that I'm guilty of not knowing much about people relations outside of my own culture. Still I do try to be polite~I just love this post! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
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