The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done
Update: The "Donate" button has been removed. Please read The Circle of Life to see why.
As I wrote in my previous post, "A Possible Disappearing Act", the possible is now definite. I will be flying from Manila, Philippines to Phoenix, Arizona, USA, prior to my wife's dual tonsillectomies, which should take place sometime between the middle of February and March.
All of my life, I've been taught it's always better to give than to receive. In fact, one of the reasons I gave up my second good job (after military retirement) and turned down a promotion that would pay me more than $60,000 in US dollars per year is because I needed to be in a place where I could do the most good.
After being on the giving end of the stick for so long, you can't imagine how hard it was for me to put up the PayPal donation button (upper left sidebar). It just feels so wrong. Nevertheless, I'm in a position where I need the financial help for the first time in my life. Please, I don't want you to consider this a gift. I want you to consider it a loan. A loan that will be paid back, if not financially, in many different ways.
I and my wife will be celebrating our wedding anniversary apart on January 25th for only the second time in our marriage, the first time being when I was in Saudi Arabia just prior to the first gulf war in 1991. This will be our 23rd anniversary. Take a look at the picture below and you can understand why I consider Josie the most beautiful woman in the world and a person I want to protect with every asset at my disposal.
I want to thank Vic of Blogger Unleashed for kicking my virtual ass and making me consider this as an option with his post about a blogger in need. I would also like to thank Darren Rowse of ProBlogger for following up with the post to help a blogger in need.
And Even More Well-Wishers
- Naomi of IttyBiz posted her instructions to help out a fellow blogger. Such a nice lady (and a nice family) with an awesome blog. I'm sorry if this is the first time I've seen it.
- Garry Conn of, what else, Garry Conn dot Comm chimed in with an addendum to "John Chow Is Getting Fat!". He's right about John. He's turning into a porker before our very eyes.
- Costa of Blog Gigs wrote his own version of my predicament with "A Blogger In Need, Needs A Blogger Indeed". He's right too. I have never seen this level of generosity before, except when pushed by large websites (like BlogCatalog).
- Monika of The Writers Manifesto Blog did her part with "The Power of Blogging to Help a Blogger in Need". This is another great blog that I don't remember seeing before.
- The doughgenerator at Making Money Online – Starting Out posted "Blogger In Need.".
- Rocky of Blogging Mix, from my neck of the woods but going to college abroad, wrote "Help A Fellow Blogger In Need".
- Hock got me twice. First at Money Making Blogs with "RT at Untwisted Vortex Needs Your Help" and second at Marketing Tools Review with "Your Chance To Help A Fellow Blogger". I believe I still owe him a blog review for Marketing Tools Review.
- Jackie of Internet Marketing for Mommies wrote "Blogger In Need". "The outpouring of support from bloggers was amazing." I can't agree more.
- I think Don at Making Sales Making Money made a small error and linked to my previous post in his WWSGD plugin which appears at "Social Media and the Power of Giving", but it could be intentional.
- Stine at Mother's Got A Dot Com told me I was writing nonsense of "having a limit" with her "Rally Round!" post.
- SOB at Think Like An SOB wrote "A Fellow Blogger Needs Your Help".
- Court of Court's Internet Marketing School wrote "Help A Blogger In Need". He's one of the 3 blogging musketeers you'll see me write about on occasion.
- Admin (and that really should be changed, Lisa) at Got No Dough – Saving Money in Slim Times posted "Please Help Our Fellow Blogger".
- Hyder at Everybody Go To included a paragraph for me in the "Ask Me Anything, January: Answered" post.
- Ellie of thepinkc included a special note with her tips to get more out of your WordPress blog.
- Jeremy of The Consumer's Corner asked people to lend a helping hand….
- Sue of Blogging Sueblimely emphasized the support I've received with "Bloggers Unite to Help".
- Rodelio of Lagahit.com, a Filipino living in my neck of the woods, wrote "A blogger in need".
- Razlan of Viral Voices wrote "Help a fellow blogger in need".
- Markk of Common Sense with Markk wrote "C'mon Guys, Let's Do It For RT".
- I almost missed Himanshu's "Help A Blogger In Need".
My reading list is growing. I apologize if I'm missing anyone. I'm going through pingback notifications and Google Alerts. Some of the pingbacks had to be despammed from Akismet before they appeared. I assure you, I submitted them as "not spam" and hopefully, Akismet won't do it again.
***
I wanted to quickly mention why I said "tonsillectomy" above when there's much more to it than that. Josie has been to doctors many times since she left here in May of last year. So far, this is the only thing she's having surgery for. I tried to convince her to do all of this here in the Philippines, but she doesn't trust the local Filipino doctors. Besides, health insurance here is a joke. She's had mammograms, sonograms, pap smears, and other tests I can't even remember. I attribute most of her problems to her life before we met, but I can't get into detail with that here. It's just too personal.
I've mentioned it before, but others in her family were either murdered or wounded a few years ago. With the streak of bad things that have happened in her life, she's justifiably afraid of being alone for the surgery, especially after she learned that one of my grandfathers died on the operating table for a much more minor operation. Mere words cannot express the gamut of emotions both her and I are going through.
I'm going to attempt to put aside those emotions so that I can continue to do the things I normally do when I'm blogging. Some of you know what those things are and some of those things are quite invisible to the casual observer. That's the way I prefer to do things; shameless self-promotion just isn't my cup of tea.
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[...] we're going to talk about RT Cunningham, a blogger who's in a tough spot. Dude's wife is in seriously rough shape — I [...]
Your wife is indeed stunningly beautiful, and I wish you both everything I've got to wish. I put a post up on my blog about this — hopefully it can help out, even a little.
You're in our prayers.
I added your post to the post. Sorry, now my eyes are crossed. I've gotta learn to stop doing that.
Thanks, RT. Let me know if there's anything else I can do. It's not much, but I've been known to pump out a guest post or two in my time. I might even make it on topic if you're really, really lucky.
RT,
I'll be mentioning you tonight on GCDC and will be asking my readers to lend a helping hand. In a situation like this, it would be great to get 1000 people to donate just even a simple dollar. I only hope that many people can pitch in and help. Our little niche that we all are apart of seems to be a very earnest and caring group. I am sure that many will come forth and provide you with some assistance. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Best Regards,
Garry Conn
Garry Conn's last blog post..Not Another Theme Change!!!
Thanks, Garry. I'll be looking for it (although I haven't slept in 24 hours – her news came as a shock because she had been taking antibiotics for more than a month).
Get some sleep man… We'll all take care of that little PayPal button for you while you get some needed ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz's.
Garry Conn's last blog post..John Chow Is Getting Fat!
I read about your story on Naomi's blog and I'm so sorry to hear about this. Your wife is beautiful and it sounds like you absolutely adore her. I'm glad you put up the PayPal button because a lot of people want to help you. Please keep us updated as to how much you've received in donations.
I hesitate to do that until I take the button down. I don't want to send the wrong signals. I've already received much more than I expected and I do have a limit.
You are very fortunate to have all of your fellow bloggers show such love and compassion for you. I hope you will announce the donations after you take the button down – it's encouraging to hear of good deeds. If you get more than you need then you should use the money to take your wife out to dinner for your anniversary when she's feeling better!
Lisa's last blog post..Tips to Lower Heating and Cooling Costs
May god be on her side. I wish good fortune will smile upon the both of you.
MarketingDeviant's last blog post..Hotels are Gold Mines for Businesses
RT, I hope your wife will be fine and pull through this. My thoughts will be with you and your family.
You've got every right to add a Paypal donation button to your own website/blog for whatever reason. Even if you didn't have your present problems to deal with, you provide a service for your readers, what's so bad about asking them to drop a few cents into the tip jar on their way out? It's taken as read if you're a taxi driver or waiting staff, so why not bloggers? It's not as if most are being paid even minimum wage for their efforts.
db
David Bradley's last blog post..Google Site Links
Hi Richard,
I'm glad you added that PayPal button. You and your wife deserve to be helped as much as possible and I will be thinking of you guys.
Hopefully many more will help with a donation.
Monika
Freelance Writing's last blog post..How I Got A New Blog Indexed In 38 Minutes
I've never visited your blog before now, after reading Darren's post, I felt compelled to come over and look. I gave you a small amount that I hope will add to the help you're getting from other bloggers.
I'll probably never return here (it's not really my niche or interest) but I wish you well and hope in some small way that I could help someone who seems genuine and in need.
I hope your wife gets better – I know she will.
Donovan's last blog post..How To Hold Your Own Under Pressure? and a Future Alpha Male (Video)
Sounds serious…
I know how much it would pain you to ask for help like this, but I think most of us owe it to you for being such a supportive friend and blogger…
hari's last blog post..Papa Hari said Papa Hari said
RT,
I pray for the success of Josie's operation. I've made a short post about this at Blogging Mix.
Rocky
Rocky John's last blog post..What Makes a Blog Make Money
[...] wife needs to undergo tonsillectomies at the middle of February and March. Please read The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done from [...]
I suggest you bring your wife to India..the medical treatment is as good as the US and at a fraction of the cost. People from even the US and UK come to India for medical assistance.
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One more vote for medical treatment in India!
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[...] a bit of background, you can read his posts here and [...]
[...] a bit of background, you can read his post on why this is the hardest thing he's ever done and more background on the situation [...]
RT, we have the same Anniversary! It's only our 5th this year, but Whew….we made it this far!
Happy Anniversary!
I can understand your apprehension to put up the button, but I believe Vic is right when he said there is an immense blogging community, and the outpouring of help and well wishes proves just that. I'm very proud to be a part of this blogging community, as there are some wonderful people in this crazy ol' world. Best wishes to you and your honey.
Lin's last blog post..HPV Vaccine: My Child – My Decision
Hey RT, I live in Phoenix, so if you need anything here, any help, a ride, directions, whatever, please don't hesitate to contact me.
I mean that.
Mike Olbinski's last blog post..Not two, but THREE Harry Potter movies left
I'm in R.T. I hope you get enough to ease the pain. Have a great day.
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[...] like begging, but eventually gave in to the collective pressure of the Blogosphere. He posted this :The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done on the [...]
Best wishes, and good on you for putting that button up! Don't you take it down again! Read my post instead and be inspired…
Stine's last blog post..Rally Round!
Hey RT… My prayers and best wishes are with you and your family…
hope you are checking your email!
pearl's last blog post..Blogapalooza – What I Learned from 2007
I'm replying to both this post and the previous one at the same time.
After more than 24 hours without sleep, I crashed and burned. When I woke up, I checked my email before anything else and I was literally shocked by the huge number of donations. I know many of you through your blogs and yet there are names that are unfamiliar.
It's going to take what seems to be forever to sort through everything. At the rate things are happening, I may be able to take that "donate" button down in a day or two.
Stine, in a comment or two on one of these two posts (and sorry, I haven't read through them all yet), said I should leave it up. I feel bad enough with it there as it is, so I may replace it with a "buy a beer" kind of thing instead.
Sending all good wishes to you both. I'm sure your wife will sail through the surgery.
Alison's last blog post..In Memory of Eleanor
Alison – I agree with the others in that you do have every right to have a paypal donate button on your page. You are not forcing ANYONE to donate to you, you are simply giving the option.
Once everything you need to do is done with,stop by the Redneck Bar & Grill and I'll buy you one.
Tim's last blog post..Get Out of Jail Free
I'm always up for helping out a fellow Vet in need
Your wife in indeed very beautiful! I hope everything works out well for you two!
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RT,
Don't take that Paypal button down. You're robbing us of our chance to do a good deed, something that's good for our souls as well. Everyone here is wishing you and Josie well with all our hearts.
From one blogger to another, I would be happy to guest post or help you while you are gone. Name the topic or task and I'm happy to help out.
Maya
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[...] to point to this post to help out a fellow blogger. I donated some, if you can spare a few bucks I'm sure the bloke would thank you for the rest [...]
[...] abandon his blog and rush here to be with his wife as she goes through this scary ordeal. Please read about his situation and donate if you [...]
RT, I tried to send you an email through your contact page, but got an error when I sent it. If you didn't receive it, I'll try again.
Lin's last blog post..HPV Vaccine: My Child – My Decision
I'll shoot you an email as a reply so you can bypass that. The contact form normally works fine, but you know how it is — one bad packet and the cache won't let it through.
RT, my prayers and the prayers of my family are with you and your family! I know that your wife will be JUST fine. If you guys will be anywhere near NJ, let me know – and I'll hop on a train to come see you!
PS: Check out my post Tips to get more out of your WordPress blog for a special addition mentioning you! It's the least I can do for a Vet!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery,
Ellie
Ellie's last blog post..Tips to get more out of your WordPress blog
[...] is heartening to see the amount of support that RT Cunningham of Untwisted Vortex is getting from his readers and fellow bloggers. Richard's wife is having an operation soon [...]
I am glad to see that button here, RT and I hope that it will ease your journey over the next month or so.
Hello RT,
Am I blind or why can't I seem to find the paypal donate button? Have you taken it down? I would be glad to chip in.
My prayers are with you and your wife. Take good care of yourself as well.
pablopabla's last blog post..Blogging Faux Pas
Yes, it's been taken down. But thank you anyway! Please read my latest post.
RT it was mistake that the plug-in got involved ,who knows how that happened, but I did want to link to that post as it was relevant for what we were trying to accomplish, my prayers are with you and your family
Making Sales Making Money's last blog post..Key Components in Building Customer Loyalty
Its always good to donate to a worthy cause. I had to have my tonsils out when I was a child. I know the surgery isn't exactly cheap!
IMO, a tip jar on a website makes a whole lot more sense than that jar in the STARBUCKS window… you've got to compare the value of what you're doing with the value of what they're doing. You know, TIP stands for To Insure Performance. A blogger who constantly "performs" well is more valuable than a mocha made right… i think?
My latest blog post: $60
I can vouche for that…surgery is not cheap. Hopefully one of these days one of these politicians we keep voting for will do something about those medical bills…Best of luck
I hope everything is going well with your wife. It sounds as if there was strong unease over the surgery. From your breif description about the history behind it, I don't blame you.
John Tasher