A Possible Disappearing Act
Update: The "Donate" button has been removed. Please read The Circle of Life to see why.
It's possible that I'll have to disappear for an indeterminate amount of time next month. My wife just called me from the US to let me know she'll be having surgery to remove her tonsils. She's deathly afraid of it, and rightly so since she's 46-years old and not a spring chicken anymore. She wants me there.
One of the tonsils is severely infected due to a fish bone that has been lodged deep in the flesh for more than a year. They can't remove it without removing the tonsil. The surgeon told her they would remove the other one at the same time to prevent future problems. She doesn't need tonsils causing bad breath any more.
I have several problems with this. The blog, well, it's nothing compared to what's going on with her and besides, I can probably access it from her cousin's computer or even a local library.
Problem #1: I'll barely have enough money saved to buy a round-trip ticket. It will be somewhere between $1000 and $1200 in US dollars.
Problem #2: The surgeon told her she wouldn't be able to work for 4 to 8 weeks. I don't think that's true, but even if it is, we won't have enough money to live on. She, by herself, can live off her cousin and others for a very short time. Both of us? I don't see it happening.
Problem #3: My son, although he's going to college, still needs my assistance from time to time due to the history with his learning disability. Leaving him here practically alone is a scary proposition.
There are other problems that will occur that I simply cannot mention here. So, you see, it's more than just me taking off for a week or more and I'm not sure what to do about it.
***
Update January 16, 2008: I'm contemplating PageRank suicide in order to build up funds quickly. If you've followed along, you'll know exactly what I mean. It looks like I'll be heading out sometime between mid-February and mid-March, depending on when the surgery is scheduled. I could be gone for up to 30 days.
My parent's home is about 80 miles away from where my wife is staying right now and they have a spare bedroom, so we have a place to stay that'll be a little friendlier than her cousin's house. My youngest sister, 42, lives there with her 3 children (all girls) and she has an Internet-enabled computer, so I'm good to go on that end.
***
Okay, Okay! Enough already! Thank you, all of you, for the comments. I'll put up the PayPal button and write about it shortly.
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All the best, RT. Take care of your family because it's a sticky situation to be in… hope you find enough money to get through this. Healthcare can be a terrible drain on your live-savings.
hari's last blog post..Papa Hari said Papa Hari said
Her medical insurance will cover the surgery, but that's the easy part.
Sorry to hear the news, RT. At least the medical insurance covers the cost of the surgery so that's one less thing to worry about.
I wish I had some words of sagely advice but I don't I'm afraid.
I hope everything works out OK. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you, fella.
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I hope all goes well RT, my thoughts are with you. How about adding a 'buy me a beer/coffee widget or advertise on this site feature etc …..??? Then people can do something concrete to help.
No, that's something I won't do. It's too much like begging.
RT – could you get a free flight by delivering a package for someone? I've heard of it, but not sure how it works.
I'll try to think of more ideas too.
K Stone's last blog post..My Favorite Productivity Trick
Thank you, I'll have to see if a courier drop would help. I'm not sure I'll need to do anything at all right now, but the possibility is there.
Best wishes and good luck to you both, RT. You know, there are many of us out here, and many who would love to help. A Paypal Donation button is a perfectly normal and legitimate thing to have on a blog, and you should be able to access Paypal while in the US, no?
I know it feels like begging, but it's not. I can tell by your Alexa Ranking that people enjoy your blog. Gives us a chance to do something for you. One post, and one button – easy peasy…
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As thoughtful as that may be, I don't think it would make an impact even if I choose to do it.
RT PayPal donate button see how we can help. Never know and it might be worth trying. Please consider it. My family will be praying for your family friend.
Vic's last blog post..Local Niche Bloggers Support Group
Rt, you should put up the button. Remember all that help you've been handing out for months, with the reviews and links and emails, moral support and kicks in the a$$? Well now it's time to let the universe roll some of that energy back your way for a change. There's no point being stubborn about it if people that care about you want to chip in. The way I see it, it's more like payback than charity.
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[...] I enjoy stopping by and reading Untwisted Vortex and read a post that I found quite painful called A Possible Disappearing Act. Richard's wife has some serious health issues from something that should have never happened [...]
RT, sorry to hear about your situation! Our prayers are with you and your family and I am sure you will come through this fine. Best wishes!
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I'm so sorry to hear this R.T. This is not a happy event all the way around. No other way to travel that could be cheaper. Trains or buses or the like. I don't know, just asking. Good luck and I hope things work out for the best.
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Hi RT,
I tried emailing you but it wouldn't go thru – I'd like to help if you could put a paypal button up or send me your paypal acct to XXX.
Wishing you and your wife the best RT.
Grizzly's last blog post..Backlinks – The Root of All Evil
Do what some of the other comments say and stick a PayPal button up. It cant hurt to give it a go.
I'd definitely donate something, wont be any massive amount as I don't have the cash but a few others donating a little should help a bit
Give it a try!
Hope everything works out for you and your wife.
David
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RT,
Just found your blog from bloggerunleashed and I can sympathize with you. Please contact me if you are heading into the Cincinnati area as I don't know where you are or are going.
I would also love to see you add a paypal button so I can donate to the cause. Having a special needs daughter of my own, I can understand the pressure and stress you are under.
If I can do anything to support you, please let me know, and know that you and your family are in our prayers.
Elliott's last blog post..2007 Bloghology Released
Sorry to hear about your wife and your predicament…
I'm with the others, put up a PayPal button, someone will Digg it, etc., and we'll get you some help.
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Hi RT
I know how you feel in regards to the PayPal button, but much like the others I'd like to help you.
I also think that most of us rather donate to you than a organization where we don't know if the money actually arrives at all.
I really want to help you too so please send me your PayPal email to
info @ thewritersmanifesto.com
All the best to you and your family and I'll wait for your email.
Monika
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Hi RT,
Sorry to hear of your troubles, my fam and I will definitely keep you and yours in our prayers. Having been through some troubles of my own, I can certainly understand your perspective on "begging" so let me share another perspective with you.
There are people in this "community" of ours that WANT to help you and ARE ABLE to help you. Not accepting their help is denying them the blessings of helping you in your time of need, so (if you have to look at it this way)… do it for them. These good folks are reaching out to help you…take their hand.
If you're absolutely opposed to the tip jar / donate button idea, let us help in other ways if we can. Guest bloggers, reposting old posts as a best of series, whatever.
Whatever you decide, you should be encouraged by the obvious outpouring of concern. Know that we are here if you need us and are willing to help.
Please keep us updated as you are able.
-Thom
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RT,
I'm so sorry to hear about your predictament. Like Vic suggested, putting up a paypal button so we all can chip in is a good alternative. Why not give it a shot.
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Seriously, paypal button. I can't afford anything but I would send you like $5. If you could get just 10 people to send you $5 thats a small chunk that could help.
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Okay, I'm convinced. I'll put up the PayPal button and write about it afterwards. Thank you, all of you, for kicking me in the arse.
Good deal buddy. I will keep poking back and forth to see when it is up.
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RT,
First, I'm really sorry to hear about this and my thoughts are with you and your wife. I hope it all goes as well as it can and that your wife makes a quick recovery.
Second, The comments above are truly amazing. I've told you before that you're a great guy who's a great help to bloggers – this just goes to show that you've made a difference in people's lives and now they want to help you. It's well deserved.
Take RT and once again I hope it all goes well.
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Hi RT,
I'm always up for helping a fellow military guy. Glad to see you put up the paypal button.
As far as the flight goes, have you considered trying to get on a military space-A flight for at least part of the trip. I'm not sure how often we fly into or out of the PI any more, but I know if you can get to Japan, there will be flights to Hawaii … then there's always hops from Here.
If by some chance you go that route, shoot me a note before you leave, in case you find yourself here in Hawaii.
I hope everything works out for you, and your wife has a speedy recovery.
Todd
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There are no military flights in and out of P.I., at least not on the island of Luzon. The bases closed in the early 90s, just after the disaster known as Mt. Pinatubo. The closest space A available would be Japan, and that would only trim about $200 from the total cost.
RT,
You have always been such an awesome contributor on my blog. I caught wind of this via Google Alerts and ProBlogger. I have sent you a donation and you DO NOT have to pay it back… secondly, I quickly revised my scheduled post for tonight and added a PS paragraph in below where I put my signature. I hope to bring out more awareness.
There is one thing that I have learned about blogging and that is the fact that when a blog friend has some trouble in their lives, we all feel the pain.
Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.
Best Regards,
Garry Conn
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[...] blog for the past 6 months I think. He is an a predicament of sorts and he is considering doing a A Possible Disappearing Act for a little while to sort them out due to his wives's impending operation and his family and [...]
Hi RT,
I'm sorry to hear bout this (via problogger). I've given a tiny contribution since I can only afford that much. Its not much but I hope it'll add up soon.
May god bless your wife and your whole family.
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[...] by Monika in Freelance Writing-Bl… | 01.16.2008 – 7:55 pm Richard T Cunningham over at Untwisted Vortex is a familiar face on many of our blogs. But Richard has a problem that most of us are unaware off [...]
RT, I'm waiting to see the PayPal button up and help will be on the way.
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Hey, hope that you get to support your wife over there asap.. Operations are always scary o_o. Anyway, I'm not one with a lot of money so I've donated what I can afford to. Hope it helps.
All the best!
Jasa
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I hope my little shoutout at my blog will help to boost awareness.
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Wow RT, this is the first time I've been to your blog. I can tell by the desire to help you that you must have a great blog, you don't see this kind of outpouring very often online. Good luck!
Jackie Lee
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I had my tonsils removed when I was 41. I can't lie, it was absolutely awful. I was miserable for two weeks, and it took a good 8 weeks to fully recover. (But I was back at work after 2 weeks, 4 – 8 weeks sounds *really* long)
BUT, I felt SO MUCH better after it was done. Mine had been infected for a long time and I didn't realize how bad I felt all the time. It'll be a rough couple of weeks for her, but she'll come out on top and do just fine. If there is one redeeming feature to a tonsillectomy as an adult, it's a great weight loss program. I lost 27 pounds in 4 weeks.
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RT,
My prayers are with you and your family at this time.
Sincerely,
Hock
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RT, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I'm happy to see you've put the Paypal button up, and that others are coming to help. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Hello,
My prayers are with you and your family at this time.
Best of luck.
Sangesh.
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RT , I have been where you are, but be encouraged, you have support, through prayer and people. That will make the difference as WE help you through this season of your life, I regret that I'm a little late to this only finding out about it this morning, but I will tell you that it has blessed me to find the support and thoughts of our blogging community. the light at the end of this tunnel will soon begin to shine and soon this will all be a memory. Paypal button clicked
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[...] from Untwisted Vortex told us yesterday about a rough patch he's going through in A Possible Disappearing Act. In the comments that ensued, he was inundated with support, and with people telling him to put up [...]
I'm replying to both this post and the subsequent one immediately following.
After more than 24 hours without sleep, I crashed and burned. When I woke up, I checked my email before anything else and I was literally shocked by the huge number of donations. I know many of you through your blogs and yet there are names that are unfamiliar.
It's going to take what seems to be forever to sort through everything. At the rate things are happening, I may be able to take that "donate" button down in a day or two.
Stine, in a comment or two on one of these two posts (and sorry, I haven't read through them all yet), said I should leave it up. I feel bad enough with it there as it is, so I may replace it with a "buy a beer" kind of thing instead.
[...] Philippines. His wife is in the U.S. and is having some health problems and needs to have surgery. RT is caught in a very tough predicament and doesn't have the money to make the [...]
[...] wife who is in the US – and he's in the Philippines. She is scheduled to have surgery, and RT wants to be by her side. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the money for airfare – but come on, let's pull [...]
[...] His wife is in the United States and is having some medical issues and needs to have surgery. RT is caught in a very tough predicament and he doesn’t have the money to make the flight [...]
This is my first time to your site, but I can see you have some excellent posts here. I´m sorry that your wife needs the surgery and please don´t feel bad about letting people help you. My oldest son was born with a problem that required various surgeries to correct and if we hadn´t had help from people (some of whom didn´t even know us!), he would still be having problems. So, I´d like to help someone else out a bit now that I can.
You can look at it as paying it forward, if you like.
Came here from Problogger and am first time visitor.
My prayers and well wishes are with you and your wife.
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[...] can read more about Richard's plight on A Possible Disappearing Act where you will also find that Pay Pal button. SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Bloggers Unite to [...]
[...] health problems and he needs to be there. You can read the rest of the story here "A possible disappearing act" and whatever donations is highly [...]
im sorry to hear your story.. god bless you and your wife.. and wish her the best and..
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[...] do not know who RT Cunningham is, but I read about his personal misfortune – more accurately, his [...]
Hey there,
Came across the story of your plight on Darren's blog. I am very sorry to hear about your misfortune. Made a small contribution, and helped to spread the word. Hope this will help.
Good luck, and all the best to you and your family.
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[...] Philippines. His wife is in the U.S. and is having some health problems and needs to have surgery. RT is caught in a very tough predicament and doesn’t have the money to make the [...]
RT all the luck to you and to your wife.
I hope everything turns out allright, it's sad to see this happening, but life treat us bad sometimes.
Cheers
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[...] Philippines. His wife is in the U.S. and is having some health problems and needs to have surgery. RT is caught in a very tough predicament and doesn't have the money to make the [...]
[...] http://www.untwistedvortex.com/2008/01/15/a-possible-disappearing-act/ [...]
Hey, read about this at tuttle's blog. I don't know if you've considered having your wife travel outside the US for the surgery? I'm sure you could have it done anywhere between 30 – 50 % less than whatever you're being charged for right now. If you're interested have your wife leave me a quote at my site and reference you. I will waive all my commission fees. Either way I hope it works out for you, good luck!
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Thanks for the offer, but her company's insurance plan is covering most of it. She only has to pay whatever the deductible comes to (under $800 because she's been paying co-payments at every visit).
[...] the U.S. and the possibility of the loss of his wife's income became a concern. In a plea, RT wrote about his ordeal and explained that things would be tough for a [...]
Good luck to both of you i hope everything will finaly be ok with you.
No matter what happens with the website, it is still just a website… family comes first in my life and I am sure most will agree… Do what you have to do. Goodluck to you both
I have a friend who is a youth pastor and he told me that many people that have come to his church have gone to South America to get expensive surgery's done for half the price. It might be worth looking into.
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