Messing With Santa's Head

• Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa".
• Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
• Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
• While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
• Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
• Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
• Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
• Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
• Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

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Christmas Riddles

• What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month? The letter "D".
• What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs? Anything you want. He can't hear you!
• What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost.
• Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

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Christmas Story

A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to tell his parents.

As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today!

"There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys!

"And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!"

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