My DSL connection was intermittent and so bad for the last 24+ hours that I was lucky to have a connection for more than 60 seconds. When I said excuses are like anal sphincters, I didn't know that excuses from SubicTel were the only thing they knew how to do well.

I called them on Tuesday. They showed up today, on Friday afternoon. There were two technicians. "Dumb" plugged his meter into the phone jack and saw that I didn't have a connection. He sent "Dumber" to the main junction box to refresh the wiring (replace corroded connections, etc.) while he refreshed the wiring outside my house where the phone line comes in.

When all of that failed to correct the problem, Dumber called the main office. I listened to the exchange, as difficult as it was since he spoke no English, and realized immediately that he was clueless when he turned to me and asked me if I had the PC going through a router. I looked at him and could barely contain my laughter. Instead I said, "Um, no, do you see a router?"

What happened next nearly made me flip my lid. Dumber was on the phone with his main office and they told him to see if he could use the web browser after they made some adjustments. He was sitting at my PC and closed Firefox. He then started searching through my start menu and couldn't seem to find what he was looking for. He turned to me again and told me he wanted to get on the Internet. I pointed at the Internet Explorer icon in the quick launch area of the task bar. He clicked on it and it came up. Of course, Google Search is the page it was set for and it was being displayed. He then typed the word "internet" in the search block and clicked search.

After 30 minutes of watching him do various things, none of which were related to the actual cause of the problem, both Dumb and Dumber got up to leave. They both told me to call the main office at the speed dial number of 179 if I had any more problems. Then they left. I can't tell you if my connectivity problem is resolved. It seems to be working right now. I guess I'll find out within the next three days (it always works on Sundays).

I'm just wondering what kind of education you need to have to work at SubicTel. How could they send a technician who doesn't even know what the Internet is, much less how to navigate the web? I feel extremely insulted by their lack of technical knowledge, so much so that I'm not giving them another chance. The next time I have a connectivity problem, I'm heading to Globe to get set up for their wireless connection service. If it turns out that it works for me, I'll take the DSL modem and the assorted wiring and drop it all off at the SubicTel office as quickly as I can.