When I was in high school I was encouraged, rather forced, to read a book called “All Quiet on the Western Front”, by Erich Maria Remarque. The book is a WW I war novel about the truth of war. In the novel the author vividly describes the battlefield that lies between your compadres and the enemy. This area is described in the novel as “no-mans-land”. No mans land is a place where there are no friends and you’re as likely to be shot by your own side as you are by the enemy.

In one of my previous posts, “Honesty”, Matthew Jabs commented “The reason a lot of people lie is to protect someone else’s feelings”.

The simple statement, although obvious, caused me to think.

I try to live my life honorably, treating people as I want to be treated and trying not to misrepresent the truth or tell the truth, leaving out important facts that help define the truth. I also try to learn from history and from experiences I have had. For instance when my wife asks me, “Do these pants make me look fat?” experience has taught me that the answer is ALWAYS a resounding “No”. The answer is nearly as automatic as a reflex now as I’ve learned any, even minor, hesitation will be interpreted as a “Yes” regardless of what I say.

Why hesitate? My mind races, processing more data in a few moments than the newest CPU sitting on Intel’s test bed. I might be thinking; “Wow, I don’t like that color, those are too short or too long to be seen in public, why are the pockets spaced the way they are, who thought it would look good to use orange thread in green cloth, isn’t it great the way those pants make her butt look like an upside down heart, those shoes don’t really go with those pants, I wonder if anyone is reading my latest blog entry, does she like those pants, how does she expect me to answer, am I in the mood for a discussion about her butt, . . . and finally . . . how do those pants make her look?”

I’ve been in this “no-mans-land” before and without hesitation I answer, “They look great honey”. She smiles and slowly walks away knowing that I still love her.

It seems Matthew Jabs was right, we do occasionally lie to protect someone else’s feelings and that’s okay.