The last time I wrote down some Random Thoughts, I guess I wasn't in the mood to write anything but did it anyway. I just read it again. Who reads that crap? (71 views, so obviously someone)

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I was recently accused of being a writer. Well, I guess that's true in the sense that I write. The kind of writing that particular person was talking about is the kind of writing that people do when they write novels, plays, screenplays, etc. It's an art form. That is not what I do. What I do is kind of like throwing words at the computer screen and hoping that they'll stick and make sense at the same time.

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If I was God, I'd be pretty pissed off at the people who keep saying they're doing something in my name or because I said so in some book somewhere. Like Pat Roberts. I wouldn't put them to death or anything so drastic. Rather, I'd shoot them with lighting bolts because I know it would really hurt. Take that, "zap!" and that, "zap!" I feel better just thinking about it and I'm not even God.

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Do you want to know how to annoy a homosexual person? Every time that person says something that you think is stupid, you say "that's so gay" or something like that. I think I would be annoyed if I was just listening to it from another room.

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I have hens, roosters and pigs living in my back yard. My wife is raising the hens and the pigs for sale. The roosters, well, they're owned by other relatives and used for cockfights. The roosters bring it on themselves, you know. You think that when they crow, they're saying something like "cocka-doodle-do", when in reality they're saying something like "f***ing ***hole". You don't believe me? Just listen to them sometimes when they're crowing. One crows, then another, and then another and they keep taking turns. Why else would they take turns? They're swearing at each other!

And another thing. People see this in the movies so I really can't blame them for not knowing any better. Roosters do not crow at dawn! The damn birds crow whenever they feel like it! And it's usually when I'm trying to go to sleep!

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The Chinese must be some peace-loving people. When was the last time you heard about China attacking or invading some small country? China has 1.3 billion people. To China, a country like the US with 298 million people is a small country. They outnumber us four to one. They could do some serious butt-kicking. Next time you want to make fun of a Chinese guy, think about it first. He could bring three of his countrymen and totally kick your butt!

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I would like it if people started using more words when they speak and write that make it sound like they know what they're talking about. Words like ubiquitous, epiphany and conundrum. When they use words and phrases like "being everywhere", "insight" and "puzzle", they just sound so incredibly boring.

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That's enough for today. I'll be sure to grace you with some of my wit and wisdom (random thoughts) again some day when the desire wells up in me. Until then, have a good day!