If you haven't seen the original Planet of the Apes (1968), you're dead from the neck up. This is the movie that spawned four sequels as well as a TV series. I have only one question for the nerds and geeks that'll eventually read this: Why does everyone screw up the quote, "Take your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty ape!" by using "get" instead of "take"? Even the A&E channel got it wrong. You'd think THEY would get it right. Of course, it may have been "damned" instead of "damn" but I listened to it on DVD about 10 times and couldn't hear the past tense.

Now, what about the 2001 version? I can only recommend that you, if you haven't already seen it, don't waste your money trying to rent it or buy it. I have one word that describes the director: fucktard. What was he thinking when he put in the last segment? Only a retarded moron would throw something in that doesn't belong. And don't get me started on how badly he screwed up the four Batman movies!

Planet of the Apes (1968) stars Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, James Whitmore, Linda Harrison and more:

Planet of the Apes (2001) stars Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Clarke Duncan, Paul Giamatti, and others: