I hate being called selfish. Only once since I've been in the Philippines have I been called that and it was my mother-in-law that said it. A little background is in order:

You see, back in 1986 my parents-in-law, along with 8 of their other children, were living in a single room of a house because that was all that they could afford. In 1987, my wife stayed in the Philippines while I was stationed on Okinawa. From 1987 to 1988, I funneled enough money through her to buy a house and lot for her family. From 1988 through 1998, we sent money over to help with rebuilding among other things. In 1992, we brought my parents-in-law to America for work and to support their own children. Even after I retired from the military and went on to other employment, we were still sending money to the Philippines, in addition to what my parents-in-law were sending. In 2001, two of my brothers-in-law were shot to death. A third was critically injured. I took care of the funeral and the hospital bills while my parents-in-law attended to the remainder of their family. My father-in-law died in 2003, just after he had worked barely long enough to collect Social Security benefits. My mother-in-law retired as the beneficiary and moved back to the Philippines that same year.

I have never asked for anything in return for everything I had done for any of them. The only demand I ever made was that some of the family members were to continue on with their education. I put one sister-in-law and one nephew through college and am currently putting two nephews through college along with my own son.

You can imagine how angry I got when my mother-in-law called me selfish (and what about I can't even remember). I responded that without me, she and a good portion of her family would still be living where they were in 1986 and in the same condition. Of course, she got mad at me (once again). I didn't care and I still don't. When I help someone, anyone, I don't expect anything in return and I don't expect recognition. I do, however, expect them to remember.